


Hey, don’t cry

by horsesandrobotsandtimelordsohmy (orphan_account)



Series: Instead of School or Sleep - This Is What I Do [5]
Category: Original Work
Genre: ;_;, Also in first person, Lots of similes, NO DEATH, first time in first person, i made myself cry writing this, im gonna miss ya sista, just school, no depression, oh wow even sad I made a pun, please no hate just hugs, sad fic, vury far away
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 14:30:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14875550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/horsesandrobotsandtimelordsohmy
Summary: I’m going to miss you a lot, big sis.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is instead of both school and sleep! I’m so bad...

Day 1: 

Everything’s hazy.

I haven’t ever seen this person.

Their face looms over mine, gargantuan but kind.

Their finger fits just right into my fist.

”I’ll love you forever, Eleanor. I’ll never leave you. Don’t you forget it, okay?”

Babies can’t nod, but I knew. 

This promise would be kept.


	2. Chapter 2

Day 1,460:

There she is, that kind face.

Mom and Dad call us peas in a pod, even though she’s 5 years older and has straight light brown hair and hazel eyes, and I’m five years younger and have dark almost black ringlets for hair and baby blue eyes.

She has kind eyes.

We are inseparable.

She has always been there, supportive, understanding, loving.

Even when she gets hurt and comes home from the hospital with a broken wrist, she lets me pick the movie.

_Bambi_ it is.

Then dollhouses and dolls (something I scoff at now) were everything.

We played, carefree.

During the summer we were out from dawn to dusk, or so Mom tells us.

During the school year I waited, rather impatiently, and we played more in the afternoon.

We ran and jumped and laughed and ate snacks and were kids.

We were happy.


	3. Chapter 3

Day 3,650:

She’s still there. 

Slogging through high school, spending hours of work and life on a computer, creating perfection, and somehow, miraculously, 

finding time to spend with me.

Birthday parties come and go.

So do friends.

We’ve moved by now. 

The old house, with its maple tree and memories and murderous miniature Rottweilers, is in the past.

We still laugh about it, talk about it, and I could still take you on a virtual tour of our wonderful, old home.

Hope is still there though. 

We still giggle at night in our new room, laughing till Dad comes in and tells us to get to sleep in his perfect dad voice.

and then some more. 

Sisters are forever. 

Through moves and friends and school and jobs and life, we stick together. And nothing can tear us apart.

Sure, the bond is stretched with spats but it always rebounds. 

Just like the old rubber jump rope at the little blue house.


	4. Chapter 4

Day 5,475:

I hardly ever see her anymore.

Between work and class and her friends and her course work and papers and stress, we hardly see each other anymore.

She has her own room now.

So do I. 

Now we giggle on iPads, mine from school and hers a gift, until we get caught.

It’s dusty in that corner of my mind, it’s dusty in hers too.

But the love, the willingness to listen, understand to the best of her ability, and to simply _care,_ is still there. 

Blow it off a little, give it a little shake, and it’s back up and running. 

Now my fist doesn’t wrap around her finger. 

I can reach my arms all the way around and intertwine my fingers around her back and squeeze her tight with muscles borne from ten hour days moving hay and cleaning stalls and carrying grain and even though she ribs me for talking too much about how my job is harder than hers, it’s worth it. 

I love you, Hope.

Dont you ever forget that.

And through the clouds of fear and anxiety and depression and terror because how can I not be perfect when God has given me this amazing family...

I've had Hope.

I understand now why people give up.

because their Hopes are gone. That person that made them never stop fighting because even though you have to fight it doesn’t mean you’re going to lose.

That Hope. 

I’ve been blessed.

I know that. 


	5. Hurry home, okay?

Present Day:

Hey, big sis.

You're off to grad school, huh?

I’m going to miss you. A lot. 

More than House misses his Vicodin on bad days and John misses Sherlock after he falls.

Yeah, I’m gonna miss you.

I mean, if the tears in my eyes mean anything. 

Jewels in a silver and sapphire helm, they glisten and dance.

It’s late, I know. 

If you were here, you’d scold me and say “Go to bed, you’ve got one last exam and an essay tomorrow.”

Imma miss you, sis.

i can hardly see to type but this demands typing. 

The world needs to know how good you are to me,

How many times you’ve listened

empathized

defended 

protected

_cared_

_**Loved.** _

Because it’s important because only then will they be able to understand _how much I’ll miss you._

I would say “please, don’t go!” But this means too much to you and I’ve got to return the love.

So I let you go without a word. 

It hurts, to see you rattle away in that old car you named Stevie. 

But you promised me all those years ago.

And you’ve kept that promise. 

You haven’t left.

Now it’s my turn to promise, as you switch on your signal and leave the safety of our neighborhood,

”I’ll love you forever, Hope. I’ll never leave you. Don’t you forget it, okay?”

And I know you’ll hear me, because big sisters always do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to point out that I wish my sister the best success at grad school and I hope she does awesome! I’m just, you know, going to miss her, is all.


End file.
